This is not a joke

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream." The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"

In case of fire...

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes

Translation:
"If you can read this, you are over-educated."

I'm still planning on washing my hands

From The Economist:

"PUBLIC displays of untidiness, such as graffiti, may promote bad behaviour, but when it comes to personal cleanliness the opposite appears to be true. A study just published in Psychological Science by Simone Schnall of the University of Plymouth and her colleagues shows that washing with soap and water makes people view unethical activities as more acceptable and reasonable than they would if they had not washed themselves."

Thank goodness for Yahoo! Answers

Religious saying of the day

"Google can't satisfy every search."

Math

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots,"and pours two beers.

My last thoughts on the election

Back from China...

Peanut Butter Moment

A friend called me today.  She was in a store that was selling $14 peanut butter and wanted to know if I wanted her to buy it for me.

The slogan on the jar said, "We started with nuts. Then we went crazy!"

It's nice to have friends who know what you appreciate.

A modest proposal

Following the passage of California Proposition 8, which outlaws gay marriage, I am readying my own California voter proposition for 2012.

It is clear that we need to level the playing field, so that homosexuals have the same rights as heterosexuals.

It is equally clear that the California people have spoken: homosexuals should not be allowed to marry.

My solution? Outlaw marriage entirely. Not only would it make us all equal, life would be much more fun.

The election race I was watching

Take the high road

When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.

Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated".

So that was what went up under the English version which barred lorries from a road near a supermarket.

"When they're proofing signs, they should really use someone who speaks Welsh," said journalist Dylan Iorwerth.