Comedians hate it when people steal their material. Fortunately, the people I stole these jokes from are unlikely ever to read my blog. (All of the jokes were from last nights Comedy Death Ray at the Upright Citizen's Brigade in LA -- one of my favorite things to go to on a Tuesday night.)
The best gifts are homemade. Like crystal meth.
* * *
I hate dirty jokes. Dirty jokes just aren't my cup of jism.
* * *
People say if animals could talk, they'd tell us not to eat animals. I
don't think so. I think they'd be telling us which animals taste the best.
* * *
My acting career is going really well. I have the role of "Ticket Taker
#3" in a new movie. That may not sound very impressive to you, but the
movie is called "Ticket Taker #3".
* * *
My friend is maximally pessimistic. He looks at a full glass of water and
sees it as completely empty.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment